Me, Me and Me!!!

   Here’s something which happened last week which probably will put me off doctors, for life.. Remember the AFS thing? Well, I need to get a doctor to fill up a health certificate verifying that I’ve had my vaccinations and I’m fit to travel and all that.

   So, last week (on tuesday i think) I went to my doctor, the one I’ve been to ever since I was born. He’s been treating me since I was a day-old. Literally.

   So, I was waiting in the waiting-room and I was watching the TV mounted on the wall. It was one of those doctor-hospital drama programs. It was about a pregnant lady and how her gynecologist (doctor who treats pregnant ladies) raped her. I was watching till the part where the pregnant lady was getting her lawyer to sue the doctor when the nurse called me to say the doctor was ready for me to go in.

   Now, at that point I was rather shaky and thinking they really shouldn’t show programs like that in hospitals, especially not when you are just about to go and visit a real doctor yourself. It’s like scary.., you’re still shaken from what you’ve seen in the movie, and now, you’re gonna have to face a real doctor.

   So, I hoped that the doctor would just sign the paper and he wouldn’t have to check me or anything.. Blekz.. Unexpectedly, he asked me to go to the next room (the checking room with the bed) and told me to remove my pinafore. I just came back from school, so, I was wearing my blue and white school uniform.

   Understandably, after watching a movie like that I was reluctant to remove my pinafore. Right? Bah, I wished he would just sign the danged paper. Okie, thank God my mother was in the room with me. So, at least I’ll be safe from the doctor right?

   Okay, what happened after that did not make me feel safe, mother or no mother.. Wouldn’t you feel really vulnerable lying on a bed with a balding doctor above you? Plus I was only in my bra and panties and my white shirt was unbuttoned and pushed up to my shoulders. Eeesh..! *gag*

   I thought it was really unnecessary. Right? What’s with the full-body check up? Can’t you just sign the paper? And why the heck is he running his hands all over my tummy? Maybe he’s checking for cancerous lumps or something? Bleh, he even has to feel my armpits? What the?!!

   My mother’s just sitting there watching. So, I guess the watching doesn’t feel as wrong as being touched. Or maybe its the influence of that TV program. Or maybe I’m just uncomfortable with being touched.

   But isn’t it really unneccesary? What’s the whole point of the check-up? I don’t think the form or cert requires any of this? Okay, and why is he taking my blood pressure? And banging away at my joints with a mini hammer? Can’t he at least wait till I’m dressed to take my blood pressure and start knocking my joints?

   Bah, I’m not being very appreciative. I thank God when its all over! And I can get up and get dressed properly again.

   When its all over, I wonder if its just me and my imagination coupled with that TV program..? Or is he a dirty old doctor? But if my mum thinks its all right, then, I guess it must be alright, right?

   But one thing I do know, this experience has rather put me off doctors. I don’t think I’ll want to go visit a doctor, not for a long time… Not if it can be helped. No thanks..

   Well, at least I did get my cert and form signed.. So, now I can get the AFS application form passed up.

   Well, I’ve gotten a lot better thanks for all your prayers. =) Hmm, I’ve been having weird dreams lately.. Prolly because I’ve been sleeping too much. Last night, I dreamt I was on holiday in China and I bought a puppy. He was really really cute with light brown fur and blue eyes. Then, I woke up. And realised that no, there was no puppy. Sniff…. Blekz, so sad..

   Oh wait, my mum bought four guppies for me yesterday. =D They’re really beautiful, and I love their tails! So maybe, that’s the consolation for not having the puppy.

   Also, I’ve been dreaming about some people in my life. People who used to be friends but now, didn’t keep in touch. They keep reappearing in my dreams, somthing like part one and part two. Like Monday night, they’ll give me a present. Then, on Thursday night, I’ll open the present. A bit weird.. Hmm, I’m wondering if I should actually call them and keep in touch.

   Dreams which feel real always disturb me. Y’know… Sometimes dreams feel super real, even more real than real life..

   Or sometimes, I go to a certain place or do a certain something.. And I get hit by deja vu.. And I think I’ve seen this place before in my dream. And I’ve done this before too in my dream. And it just feels so so weird..

   Haha, or maybe I’ve just been sleeping too much and thinking too much and weirding myself out. Being holed in, doing nothing except sleep, eat, drink, online is probably taking its toll on me. Or maybe its just the after-effects of being sick. Hmm?

   I was sick yesterday.. *sigh* I woke up and didn’t feel like leaving my bed. My head throbbed and I felt so cold..  And every part of my body ached. But I was really really thirsty.. Plus it was already 11am, time to wake up. So, dragged my body out of bed.. But it was so tough man. It was like evry step I took my whole world spinned around.

   Ate my breakfast and downed gallons of water to soothe my sore throat. My stomach churns, I felt like throwing up. But I didn’t. Washed down an Aspirin with water (no panadol at home), then, I fell asleep on my sofa downstairs.

   I was so cold, I was shivering with the fan turned to 1. Huddled under a pile of pillows and slept. I woke up at 1pm feeling so much better! Aspirin is really really good. At least my headache is nearly gone, the world doesn’t spin around anymore, and I don’t feel like throwing up anymore. But my body still aches.. Ate cereal for lunch. Drank lots of water. Then, went upstairs to my room to sleep again. Woke up, drank water, go toilet. Then, continued sleeping.

   All in all, I spent about 14-16 hours sleeping out of 24 hours..

   However, all the sleeping did me good. When, I woke up at 6pm. I was well enough to go for my class in Systematic. I wouldn’t want to miss my class, I was far back enough as it is. I got back my progress test results. 36 over 100. Ouch! Dang low man.. Well, I was comforted that only 3 ppl in the whole class got above 50. And 36 is above average in my class. Heh, cheap comforts..

   All in all, it was a crappy day. Being sick is no fun at all. It gets really torturous, really painful suffering. But you know what, I wanted to spend this holiday studying remember? As yet, I still haven’t started. Well, cos I still feel too sick to study. Way way too sick..

   Studying? Oh man, God help, I need discipline to start studying. That’s why right now (!) I’m going to off my computer, go to my room and start studying. Yes, and pray please that my headache will go away. And pray too that I won’t fall asleep. Or be distracted by my phone..

*sigh*

   Yea, I know I haven’t blogged in ages. Just didn’t feel like blogging. Well, just wanna update a bit. Firstly, I got shortlisted for AFS Student Exchange program!! =D Either Italy or Spain la.. Great! Can’t wait to go..! Thank God I got it man.. Competition was so tough this year. I see so many ppl who are better qualified than me but didn’t get it. Must be God’s favour. Yippee! God rocks!

   As for what I’m doing currently, I’ve got my eye on either University of Nottingham or University of Warwick. Surfing the web for unfo on good universities. =D Helps me to know what I’m aiming for, gives me incentive to study harder =P

   SPM coming soon!! This year is passing by way too fast. Oh man! And I haven’t really started studying properly yet. Crapz.. Saying and doing is completely two differnt things. And I’ve really become rather the Master of Procastination. Just is so hard to actually sit down and study..

   Btw, after SPM this year. I narrowed down my options to two. Either Business Foundation in University of Nottingham (malaysia campus : semenyih) or A-levels in Taylor’s. What do you think? Hmm, life and its so many decisions. It’s like either Option A or Option B. I wish I could take both Option A and Option B, than choose the one which offers the best outcome. Bah (!) but that’s just not possible, so have to take risk, count the pros and cons and take the one which I deem best.

   But first (!), I have to actually pass the entry requirements!!! Which means I have to study.. Which incidentally, I don’t really feel like doing. Bah, I must get "A" for Maths. And this, I count as my biggest challenge. I’m gonna brainwash myself and make believe that I Luuurrrve Maths! Yea right… Its like my favourite subject and I love doing Maths exercises and cracking my head over tangens and bumis and matrixs and goodness knows what else??! God help! I always feel extra dumb when I’m doing maths cos I just don’t understand, can’t get the answers.. Sometimes I wonder if I have a number deficiency, like my left/right brain can’t perceive numbers properly and get them all mixed up. *sigh*

   But once again, I vehemently declare my utmost undying love for Maths!

   I have so many things I feel like blogging about but yet don’t wanna blog about. *sigh* Plus I’m not really supposed to online all that much anymore. Cos I’m suppose to use this time to study instead. Yea right.. Like I can actually manage to drag my butt to the chair and start studying. And pull my mind together to concentrate on what I’m staring at. ARRRGH! I’m so not in the mood to start studying yet.. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………………..